“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer”
Albert Camus
I have seen the quote before but do not know if it’s authentically Camus or what was its context. It always resonates though, not in the least because I always respected Camus for his moral fortitude in his dispute with Jean-Paul Sartre.
It especially resonates today, on the first day of winter in Hawaii. Remembering that darkness of winter can happen at any point, even in full sunshine. And that there is always light within, we just have to access it. Today was my first session of psychotherapy with Dr. Au in Chinatown’s modern offices. I was introduced for the first time in practice to EMDR. I held good childhood memories within me as I moved my eyes: of Turkish Coffee with my grandfather, of digging in the garden’s earth and twilight bath, of falling asleep on Christmas Eve believing the animals will speak at midnight.
I was loved by my environment. I am loved today. Marysol lit tree lights as winter solstice arrived last night. She gave me a gold heart bracelet and I was nourished by her joy of giving. I fell asleep in the glow of the lights. Today I nourished my body in cleansing it. It is my first day of the master cleanse. But I welcomed not only pure water, organic lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper but warm tea inside and eye compress meditation. I danced and engaged muscles in weight exercises. I scrubbed my body with activated charcoal and volcanic ash soap, a Chanuka gift from Eric, then moisturized it with coconut oil and drops of cacao essential oil.
Relaxed, I am starting my record keeping: day one of winter and a ten day countdown to new year’s eve in physical and spiritual rejuvenation. To invincible summers ahead.